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In Your Grief

Web Places to Visit
Please remember, that we are all one, BEing is continuous, you are not separate.

A Place for Us
Bereavement Resources
Animal Prayer Requests
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement
The Delta Society--The Human-Animal Connection
Light a Candle
SheGrieves.Com
PetLoss.com
Rainbows Bridge
Rainbow Bridge
Cold Noses at the Pearly Gate
 

April 2, 2005

Woodstock's 'friend' on the Yahoo feline-lymphoma list, C.C. Klein, lost his battle with lymphoma today.  Here is a link to C.C.'s story, his lymphoma history, and a beautiful tribute from his dad, Frank.  We all miss C.C. (click here)

Heartfelt Empathy

A Pet's Wish
If it should be that I grow weak
and pain should keep me from my sleep.
Then you must do what must be done,
for this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
what is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so.
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend
and please stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see,
the kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
from pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve it must be you
who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years.
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

-author unknown

"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next
room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we
still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy
way which you always used to. Put no difference in your tone, wear no
forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Pray, smile, think of me, pray for
me. Let my name be ever the household word it always was, let it be
spoken without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it
ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken
continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I
am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around
the corner. All is well."

LEND ME A KITTY
I will lend to you for awhile
a Cat, said God,
For you to love him while he lives
and to mourn for him when he is gone.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe for two or three
But will you, till I call him back
take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and (should his stay be brief)
you'll always have his memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise that he will stay,
since all from earth return,
But there are lessons you can give
I want this cat to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from all the folk that crowd life's land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitty back again.

The cycle of life must come around,
Know that that time must come.
For all the joys this cat will bring,
the risk of grief you'll run.
Will you shelter him with tenderness
Will you love him while you may
And for the happiness you'll know forever grateful stay.

But should I call him back
much sooner than you've planned
Please brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand.
If, by your love, you've managed
my wishes to achieve,
In memory of him that you've loved,
Cast now your glance to Heaven above,
and know he loved you too.

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all
of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is
plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and
comfortable.
 
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and
vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The
animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each
miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly
stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His
eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying
over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the
beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your
pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

Author unknown

by Albert Schweitzer:
"Hear our humble prayer oh God,
for our friends the animals,
especially for animals who are suffering,
for any that are hunted or lost or deserted
or frightened or hungry, for all that die.
We entreat for them all by mercy and pity, and for
those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals.
Then to share the blessings of the merciful."

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)
Mary Frye (1932)

Into the Spirit:

I see you grieve,
I feel you grieve,
But I am with you.
And will stay, till you laugh,
When remembering the fun
We had in all those years.
Thank you for the courage to let me go,
No more weary, no more pain,
I am with you, you will feel me.
You will see my smiling eyes and shining fur,
You will hear my happy voice.
I can run now, I can play now,
With all my family and my friends
But I will love you & I will watch you
Till we meet again

Last Love:

I am an old cat and I know
My days are nearly through
But I will always think with love
Of days I spent with you
I'm poorly now, I know full well
That I may never see
The blossom on our lilac bush
The bloom on next year's tree
I'm tired and I'd like to rest
I know you'll understand
But I need peace now, and the calm
Of your dear loving hand
Don't grieve too much, my life was good
With such as you to care
And when your time on earth is done
You'll find me waiting there
You'll love another cat, I hope
My memory to keep
If you were weeping still for me
I could not sleep my sleep
We have our span, our given breath
Each life its time lent soul
And cats who love are quite convinced
We're part of one great whole
There is a place for cats, I know
In heaven up above
Where we are reunited with
The people that we love
 

The Loving Ones

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing
each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much
fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's
water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying.
He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work,
he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and mommy's
image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.
"Is something wrong?" The little orange boy turned around. A lady was
standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The
little orange boy sighed and walked out of the water.
"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He
looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's
image was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a
mistake. She said I wasn't supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy
climbed into her lap. It wasn't mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked, he
started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.
"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your
mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said. The little orange
boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It
hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."
"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen." she said.
"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever
said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All
he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how fast he was or
how big he was getting. "No, not that you were sick," the lady said.
"But you see, they chose tears."
"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to
cry?
The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him
feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his mommy.
"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.
Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and
Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and
Obie.
Dogs too - Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle.
Even a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a
hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at
her, waiting.
She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They
were lonesome and asked the Angel to help them. The Angel took them to a
wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of
things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting
events. "Here are things you can love," the Angel said. "They will keep
you from being lonesome." "Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These
are just what we need." "You have chosen Pleasure," the Angel told them.
But after time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "Things
are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."
The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at
all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They
will know you love them." So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the
wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the Angel said.
Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some
just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came
back to the Angel in Charge. "They know we love them," they told the
Angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return." So
the Angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people
walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to love," the
Angel told them. So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to
love. "You have chosen Commitment," the Angel said.
But after time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped
loving us and left. They broke our hearts." The Angel just shook his
head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with
the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side
and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens
and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving
Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked. But the Angel just
tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said.
"But there's a problem with their system operations."
"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked. "Yes," the Angel
said.
"Would they love us back?" another asked. "Yes," the Angel said.
"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked. "No," the Angel
admitted. "They will love you forever." "Then these are what we want,"
the Loving Ones said. But the Angel was very upset. "You don't
understand," he told them. "You will have to feed these animals."
"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.
"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."
"We don't care."
The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were
and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the
animals' eyes. "They were not programmed right," the Angel said. "We
can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of
their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."
But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little
bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought
they would burst.
"We will take our chances," they said.
"You do not understand." The Angel tried one more time. "They are so
dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to
outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."
The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That
is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."
The Angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen
Tears," he whispered.

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and daddy
knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it
will leave them and they will cry." The little orange boy sat up. "So
why do they take us in?" he asked. "Because even a moment of your love
is worth years of pain later."
"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the
edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she
ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady. She nodded. "You see, the
Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would
suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."
She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her
fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water
here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting
and shared love. And the promise of love once again.

As your mommy cries, she is healing. "It may take a long while, but the
tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she
will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart
again to another little baby." "But then she will cry again one day,"
the little orange boy said. The lady just smiled at him as she got to
her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about."
She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched
Morgan's ear just how she liked.
"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"
The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready
to leave his mommy.
"Will I ever get to be with her again?" The kind lady nodded.
"You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the
purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep,
your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at
peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're
safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look
at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew
she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.
"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced
over at the other pets, running and playing and laughing with the
butterflies.
"Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."

Then he turned and raced after the others.

-- author unknown --

If You've Loved and Lost a Dog (or cat)

I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you so softly,
as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you-
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today,
your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wished I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,
you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that
I am not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your keys.
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be,
so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly,
then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over now...
I smile and watch you yawning,
And say "Goodnight, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning"

And when the time is right,
for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
and we'll stand side by side.

I have so many things to show you,
there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out....
then come home to be with me.
-unknown-

From One Door Away From Heaven, by Dean Koontz
Page 670: [note:  I read 'cats' here too and other loving companion animals]

"Every world has dogs or their equivalent, creatures that thrive on companionship, creatures that are of a high order of intelligence although not of the highest, and that therefore are simple enough in their wants and needs to remain innocent.  The combination of their innocence and their intelligence allows them to serve as a bridge between what is transient and what is eternal, between the finite and the infinite...

"For those who despair that their lives are without meaning and without purpose, for those who dwell in a loneliness so terrible that it has withered their hearts, for those who hate because they have no recognition of the destiny they share with all humanity, for those who would squander their lives in self-pity and in self-destruction because they have lost the saving wisdom with which they were born, for all these and many more, hope waits in the dreams of a dog, where the sacred nature of life may be clearly experienced without the all but blinding filter of human need, desire, greed, envy, and endless fear.  And here in dream woods and fields, along the shores of dream seas, with a profound awareness of the playful Presence abiding in all things," the hero proves to the little girl "what she has thus far only dared to hope is true: that although her mother never loved her, there is One who always has."

From WH Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone.

Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

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